Muppet's Time Cross
by labrinthine
Summary: Gonzo finds an interesting machine in the attic, and after a mishap, they are sent back in time! There, they run into a very familiar face... Human! Muppets. Warnings: Language, very little violence. Disregards Kermit's Swamp Years. mentions of past relationships.
1. Chapter 1

It was actually Gonzo that found the machine. It had been stuffed into the attic, pushed to the side and surrounded by clutter. You would have had to literally crash through the ceiling to see it, which is exactly what Gonzo had done. Now, Normally Kermit would have stopped him before he even began to formulate the plan of shooting himself through the ceiling, but Kermit had been gone at a business meeting all morning. He had assigned Fozzie as Gonzo's official watcher, but Fozzie had been convinced that leaving Gonzo along for a moment would be fine... Well, now they had a hole in their attic, and a rather interesting machine revealed.

Fozzie was... impressed, actually. "You were alone for 6 minutes before you destroyed anything! That's a new record."

But in all seriousness, the hole into the attic was large, and Gonzo wasn't even listening to him! He was too interested in some ancient piece of junk. Fozzie wanted him to get out of there so they could start to fix the damn thing, but he continued to dilly dally. It wouldn't be long before Miss Piggy-

"WHAT is going ON here!?" Speak of the devil...

There she stood, Kermit's Self proclaimed girlfriend. She was wearing a rather casual outfit, jeans with the cuffs rolled up, a black undershirt, and a pink, bedazzled varsity jacket. Her skin was a beautiful warm beige, and she had just gotten her hair done. The straight blonde locks were perfect, and the side bangs she had recently gotten suited her well. Frowning, she picked her way through the debris to take a look at the damage herself.

"You better be planning to clean this up!" She calls into the attic, "Kermit and I have a date! And if this distracts him then you'll regret it!" She huffs, and flips a lock of hair.

"Don't worry!" Gonzo called down, "With this," His head pokes out, wearing an odd helmet, "I'll get it done in no time!"

"What is that thing?" Fozzie tilts his head a little in confusion.

"Woah, Gonzo, did you blow a hole in the ceiling?" Walter joins the party a little late, but still shocked at the amount of damage he had done.

"Yeah," Gonzo affirmed, jumping down from the attic, "But with the time machine I found, it'll be gone in no time!"

"Time Machine?" Walter and Fozzie ask at the same time, confusion spread across their faces.

"Uh, yeah." Gonzo points the logo across the side of the helmet.

"That doesn't say Time Machine," Fozzie objects, it says "En Ihca Memit! Must be foreign."

Gonzo lets out a startled laugh, "Don't you get it? That Time Machine backwards! Just all chopped up- probably to distract you!" Gonzo points out in a 'duh' tone.

"Are you kidding me? You blew a hole in the ceiling for _that?_" Miss Piggy asks, shocked.

"No!" Gonzo defends, "I blew a hole in the ceiling for a completely unrelated reason! I just happened to find this cool helmet." He pats the side of it reassuringly.

"well, it's not like it even works." Fozzie points out, "It's probably just some hunk of junk from whoever used to own this house."

"But what if it does work? Than I'll be able to go to any time, ever! And look," He twists around and points to a knob with a few buttons. "It's got a location setting! Choose any place and time, and you'll be there."

Fozzie stares at the helmet for a few seconds, Jealousy begins to creep up his spine. What if the helmet did work? "Y'know, why don't you give it to someone it actually fits? Like me?"

"What? No! Finders keepers!" Gonzo shouted, reaching up to protectively grab the helmet.

But Fozzie was right. The helmet hung loosely around Gonzo's head, and even his thick mop of blue hair didn't do much. Whenever the small man turned his head, the helmet swung around and went crooked, covering half his face. A frown marred his dark face, he would defend that helmet on his life! But even he could see that Fozzie would be a better fit for the thing. The man was physically larger than Gonzo, and his honey brown curls would fill up the space his head couldn't. The older man reached out for the helmet suddenly, gonzo jerked back out of his reach. The helmet bounced up and down like a bobble head.

"Hey! Stop that!" Gonzo dodged another attempt for the helmet.

"Fozzie-" Walter began, only to be interrupted by said bear.

"I just want to look at it!" He made another lunge for it.

Miss Piggy shook her head, "Idiots!" she muttered.

Gonzo attempted to make a break for it and jump over the bear, but the helmet had other ideas. The movement was too much for it's petty grip on his head, and the thing flew off with great height. There was a moment where it was suspended in mid-air, everyone was staring at the thing, a look of horror passing over Gonzo's face as he realized his mistake. Suddenly everything was moving again, Gonzo had changed positions mid air, trying to reach out and grab at the helmet. Fozzie had one hand already on the thing, and a great tug-of-war game ensued. Each was trying to get a grip on the shiny thing, pulling and grabbing at anything to give them ground. Twisting the know for location and time to random settings, getting dangerously close to the active button...

Walter had a very bad feeling about this.

Suddenly the room filled with a blinding white light. Both men let go of the helmet to shield their eyes, but it was already too late to reverse the process. The walls of the house began to disappear, replaced by the white light. Walter felt his entire body being stretched and separated as he traveled through time and space. He was flipped upside down and sideways, turned back wards and forwards, spun around like a top, and shaken like a rattle. It seemed like hours before things seemed to be calming down. The bright white began to fade, revealing a completely different location than before. They're literally dropped back into reality falling about 5 feet straight to the ground.

Walter rolled onto his side and groaned. Dizzy and aching all over.

"Ugh." He sits up to the best of his ability. Mosquitoes already began to buzz around his head incessantly, the air was humid and wet. He took a good look at his surrounding. He was dangerously close to a lake, a few feet over and they would have landed right in it! suddenly, the serenity of the lake was disrupted as Gonzo and Fozzie burst out of it. Miss Piggy sat up next to Walter, looking rather frazzled and angry.

"Uh oh." Gonzo said simply. He glanced down at his hands and his eyes went big as saucers, "_UH OH_."

"Why the second 'uh oh'?" Miss Piggy asked, eyes narrowing.

Gonzo raised his arms up, revealing a water-logged, obviously broken, Time Machine helmet.

"Uh oh." All three of them said in unison.

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**I don't own The Muppets...**


	2. Chapter 2

When Miss Piggy was angry, she was angry. Once everyone had really realized the implications of a broken time machine, she had exploded. Her eyes had burned with anger as she stalked towards the two offenders- the ones who had cause this whole ordeal: Fozzie and Gonzo. The two had easily detected what the woman was going to do and had a quick moment of panic, looking to Walter for help. Walter had shaken his head is quick denial, not wanting to get anywhere near the black belt at the moment. Gonzo quickly began to scan the environment for a hiding place. There were plenty of woods around the lake, but when Miss Piggy wanted something, she would find any way to get it. They both decided to stay and face their punishment head on. In retrospect, running would just make her angrier anyway.

She stalked right up to them, arm poised for a strong karate chop, when someone nearby fell into the lake with a loud _splash._

Everyone glanced over at the sudden distraction. A young boy had just been pushed into the lake. He had a head full of strawberry red hair and a pale face, but he lacked the usual freckles most red heads had. He pushed himself into a semi sitting position with his arms supporting his weight, the water sloshed around his thighs as he began to get up out of the water. His clothes were soaking wet! His dark jeans were sticking to his legs uncomfortably, and his loose, pale yellow shirt slicked down onto his chest. His simple black rimmed glasses were askew and covered with droplets of water. The boy was a poor sight indeed.

Suddenly, another boy stepped out into the water. he was obviously taller and stronger than the first boy. He had a football jersey across his chest and a pair of loose fitting jeans. His shoes were obscured by the water. He was handsome for a young man, with sandy blonde hair cut military style and blue eyes, a light splattering of freckles dusted his cheeks, and his mouth was twisted up in a cruel smile.

The boy in the water froze and starred up at the bully. "Uh... heyyyy.. Blotch." He managed to bite out, fear clogging up his voice.

The blonde boy, Blotch apparently, took another step closer to the boy, "Hey four eyes, whatcha waiting for? Your Mommy?" The jock laughed.

"No!" He yelped weakly, "I'm waiting for my friends!"

"Yeah?" He growled out, taking a step forward. "And you felt the need to cause trouble?!"

The younger boys eyes went wide and he scooted back a little, "I wasn't causing any trouble! I was just trying to read!"

Blotch leans down and grabs a fistful of the boy shirt, lifting him up a little to get a good angle to punch him with. Walter takes a step forward in alarm, planning on doing something to help. The other Muppets have the same idea as they all take a collective step forward. It's a wonder the two boys haven't seen them yet, only a few trees and bushes separate them, maybe a a little over 20 ft between them.

Miss Piggy has abandoned her quest for vengeance momentarily, and moves in unison with the rest of the Gang to stop what was about to happen.

They make it about two steps before a loud voice sounds from behind them, "Hey!"

Everyone's heads swivel to look at the new member of the of the party, which actually turns out to be two new members. The first one is taller than the second, but still shorter than Miss Piggy, the second is just inches short of being the same height as the first one. The guy who had called out was the first one, who had on a thin, loose fitting green jacket, blue jeans, and black off-brand converse. The second had on a pair of low-hanging jeans and skate shoes on. His chest was bare, showing off some rather odd looking scars on his chest.

The tall one had dark skin and a mop of black hair on his hair that was wild, sticking out in every direction. His eyes were a bright, honey brown and he was stick thin. His legs made up most of his height, his ear was pierced, and he look pissed as hell. The shorter one had tan, olive skin and electric green eyes. His hair was a smooth black and pulled back into a loose bun with strand hanging down in his face. He had a small, scraggly looking mustache and he looked as pissed as the first one. They easily passed the group of muppets and sloshed out into the water, presumably to talk to Blotch.

Said bully dropped his hold on the small one and turned fully to face the new arrivals. "Aww, Look Goggles! They're here to save their damsel in distress!" He teased meanly. Googles looked down in shame.

"Don't listen to this asshole, G." The second guy tells him as they approach.

"But he's right, C!" Goggles says sadly.

"That's BS and we both know it!" The second guy, C, says.

They walk right up to the bully, who is much taller than them, "Don't touch him!" The first guy hisses out, getting right in the guys face.

"Or what, _K_?" He says mockingly, "_You'll beat me up_?"

They can visibly see K grinding his teeth, "Try me."

Blotch lets out a startled snort, then pushes K back. The smaller boy stumbles and almost falls, grabbing onto C for support. He looks up at the bully angrily, there's a fire in his eyes and his whole body tenses. There's a sudden tension in the air and nobody makes a sound.

"K..." C begins quietly, staring intensely at the taller boy, "He's not worth it." Another long moment passes before K finally nods his head in agreement and C relaxes.

Blotch laughs cruelly, "I knew you sissy's wouldn't do it!" He turns and kicks water at Goggles.

K lets out a harsh breath, "Is he worth in now?" He snarls.

"I'm not holding you back." C says holding his hands up in surrender.

It happens so fast Walter isn't even sure what he really sees. One moment C is holding back K, then he was releasing him and suddenly all hell had broken loose. K had body slammed into Blotch, managing to take the bully to the ground and get a few lucky punches in. Suddenly the bully had surged up out of the water and managed a strong, smart hit right to K's jaw, knocking him off. K hit the water with a splash, but he was up in no time, ready to face off once more. Goggles had swiftly taken advantage of the distraction and bade a hasty retreat, over to C who checked him over for injuries.

K began to work on dodging a wiggling out of hits, trying to tire him out before making his move. The bully landed another hit square t K's face, but that didn't seem to disrupt his flow. One dodge after the next, occasionally the bully would sneak in a few hit here and there. Just as the fight seemed to be wearing down, C charged across the water and threw his arms around Blotches neck, barely managing to take him down. K took the chance and gave him a hard punch right to his stomach. The air whooshed out of Blotch and C let go, quickly scrambling back.

Blotch wheezed for a moment before his adrenaline kicked in and he went back to fight again. He caught K's hand while he was trying to get a hit in and yanked him closer, putting his arm around his neck and sucker punching him in the face, head, and stomach. C readied himself for another take down move, but before he could make his move another new person arrived.

"Hey now, hey!" A man approached the fight from a different angle than the other two. He was a large man, bigger than anyone there, with wide shoulders and large muscles. He had dark brown eyes that matched his skin, and thick dread locks pulled into a pony tail out of his face. He was wearing old army bottoms and a dark green tank top, with beige combat boots and dog tags, He had a beard and a small scar across his nose. All in all, he looked rather menacing.

"Quit fighting, ya hear?" He put one hand on Blotches shoulder and squeezed, startling the boy out of his trance of beating on K. He released the boy and took a step back, away from the older man. K stumbled a little and the man grabbed onto him so he wouldn't fall. Concern flashed across his eyes. "I'll talk to your Momma later, Blotch. Now go home." He refocused his attention to K as Blotch flees, holding his bleeding nose.

It's at that moment that the Muppets finally manage to snap out of their staring and actually start helping the situation. They cross the water to help.

"God is it good to see you, Arnie." C sighs thankfully. Goggles nods in agreement.

The man glances at the two boys before looking back at K, "Yeah, I know. He's in pretty bad shape." C sighs out.

Arnie frowns deeply, "I thought I told you not to let him pick anymore fights with that bully."

C looks away guiltily. Goggles pushes his glasses up a little, "It's not like we can stop him." his voice lowers, "He's been like this even since... y'know."

K, still swaying like a blade of grass in the wind, clutches onto Arnie, "I'm right here, y'know." he says, easy humor in his voice.

Walter was, surprisingly, the first to make it across the water. "Hey, we saw everything!" he said stepping up to the rag tag group, "Is he alright?"

Arnie tightened his grip and K almost fell again. C stepped up to take his other arm, "Yeah, He'll be fine." He says softly with a grimace on his face. "He's just bein stupid is all." Goggles comments. Steadily they begin to walk K to shore. The Muppets trail after.

Arnie gives them a hard once over before quirking a brow, "Are y'all new in town? Aint never seen your face 'round here."

Fozzie and Gonzo exchanged a glance, Miss Piggy's face screwed up with her new found rage, and Walter gulped. "Well, to be completely honest, we are a little lost..." Walter admits.

Goggles quirks a brow, "Where are you from? He questions.

"Hollywood." Fozzie answers easily.

C lets out a low whistle, "You're a long way from home. This is Napples, Florida!"

"Where are out manners?" Arnie speaks suddenly, still keeping up a steady walk, taking K to a small house, presumably Arnies. "Would you like to come in? I can make some tea and point you in the right direction to get home."

"Woah slow down, _Mister_." Miss Piggy stops in her tracks, "How do we know we can trust you!? We just met you! We don't even know all of your names." She harrumphs.

"Oh, yeah." Says C, "That's Goggles," He points to said man, "That's Arnie, I'm Croaker, and this Idiot," He jabs a finger at K, who sticks his tongue out in retaliation, "Is Kermit."

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**Why did it take me like a year to update this omg.**

**Enjoy.**


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